Most fundamentally it has changed my identity and what I imagined this part of my life would be like. It has robbed me of the ability to have children, but has lit a fire in me with regards to my health and career. I am more impassioned to help others and to no longer be silent about the disease. Things did not evolve as planned, but I have reached the point where I can coexist with it, and find ways to take from my journey the learnings that will carry on with me for the rest of my life. 
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This has had a huge impact on my mental health. Every single day I have to pick what I'm going to push through and what I have to give into. When the pain is excruciating, I pretty much shut down and am stuck in bed so my mental health suffers. When it is all overwhelming and I push myself to get out and about a bit more, even something easy like having a friend over, or going to a friend's house, or getting groceries, then I suffer even more physically. 
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I definitely would have chosen excision, but I was not given an option. He operated on me while I was put out for the initial diagnostic laparoscopy. It took 7 years of dismissal and being told everything was in my head just to find out that way. I was crushed. I felt betrayed by Canada's health care system, especially when I called the hospital to ask about my rights and was told that the specialist has the right to make that call. He decided to put my fertility at risk at age 22, not me. 
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I think there are huge steps to improve the health care for endo. There is a huge lack of funding that should be put towards research and treatment. This disease affects 1 in 10. That's over 2.6 million women in Canada alone, and a huge number of society has never even heard of it. Women's health care has always been put behind men's, and that needs to change.
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I remember I was told I was in surgery for 5 1/2 hours, because the surgeon couldn't believe how much endo grew in my body. I remember waking up in my hospital room, which was a semi private room to a nurse waking me up saying "Jennifer you're going home." I barley knew what was going on. I signed a waver for a longer hospital stay to recover, but it was never met with the hospital.
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Since endometriosis affects 1 in 10 women, endometriosis identification and care need to be better integrated into medical school training. Primary care providers need to be made more aware of endometriosis symptoms - including atypical presentations - in order to refer patients for timely specialist care. Canada also needs to invest in training and hiring more endometriosis specialists. In BC we are lucky to have a Centre with excision specialists who are devoted to treating endometriosis, but this is not the case in all provinces. It would also be great to see funding agencies such as the Canadian Institutes for Health Research prioritize funding for endometriosis research, as it is currently such an underfunded area.
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I remember waking up one night and being in the worst pain of my life. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t cry out for help. I laid there not knowing what to do. Eventually it faded and I fell back asleep. It happened the next night and I was taken to the hospital.
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 One minute everything is fine. The next minute pain strikes so hard I lose my vision. Nausea sets in. I am doubled over in pain and don’t know if I can make it home safely. My internal organ functions are compromised are on a cycle that is independent of anything within my control.
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I recently got diagnosed several months ago with both stage 4 endometriosis and adenomyosis. It’s been a nightmare - nobody seems to understand the unbearable pain both emotionally and physically with this chronic disease. To add to this, knowing I cannot have children is killing me.
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